Listen to the whisper that speaks the truth

If I would have been asked one week ago how I was feeling, I’d have used up an entire Kleenex box explaining my failure to launch what I thought was a simple plan. I was in “woe is me-ville” because I had to admit to myself and to others that I’d made the wrong decision.

There are two thought-provoking forces at work inside this human casing I walk around in every day. Both of these forces are important to my survival and my sanity and yet often they don’t see eye-to-eye, second guess each other, and stab each other in the toe to get what they want.

In fact, a great deal of the time these forces clash like Titans and Olympians in a joust of what each believes is in the other’s best interest.

The heart and the head.

Mine were dragging each other by the collar and my poor intuition got her knuckles scraped along the pavement until she backed off. I could have saved myself a whole lot of heartache if I’d have just wised up to her.

The funny thing is that, as I was driving down the highway two weekends ago to meet the source of my simple plan, my intuition was sitting in the passenger seat counting on both hands all the reasons why my plan wouldn’t work. But I played the ignore game and just kept my eyes on the road.

I find it incredibly interesting how, even though I advocate the importance of listening to one’s intuition, I look the other way when mine speaks to me.  I’ve preached the heeding of intuition to my children time and again through out their lives. I believe my intuition is always right. That whisper that begs to be heard and stands out from reason and logic. 

Some things are true whether we believe them or not. Intuition is one of those things.

And yet, I fully admit I can be notorious for ignoring intuition at times when I shouldn’t.

All I had wanted was a puppy—a little doggie to love and nurture and watch grow up and be that snowshoe and water dog I missed so very much.

How difficult could it be? And yet, nothing had changed in the busyness of my life since last fall, when after much debate I’d given “Cash” a chance at a better life by giving him up because I worked too much.

And yet there I was falling in love with that little puppy the moment I saw her and all the while my intuition was trying to make a case for delayed gratification. 

But I brought the puppy home anyway, loved her up, and in trying to meld her needs with my tightrope work schedule, almost immediately found myself trying to swim up a waterfall.

I really thought it was a simple plan, but I was wrong. Raising a puppy is not a road of responsibility to take lightly and as I now know, I am not ready for that road. Graciously, my adoption host understood my sincerity and my circumstances and has found that little puppy a forever home.

For a long while I wasn’t sure what my lesson was in this. What? from the awry of such a simple plan.

It turns out the lesson was not to second-guess the truth. 

Thanks to a little puppy named “Tula” for teaching me what I needed to hear.